Me: Anxiety is being a bitch, dude, and I’m sad cause I’m homesick. (Please don’t worry btw, I’m ok/gonna be ok 💗)

Friend: Bitch where tf is Alucard. Lazy ass boy, COMFORT YOUR GF!!

Me: LMAO, Al? Not being real/physically around to offer comfort cuddles of any kind? True, or just rude?

Friend: That’s not an exCUSE!!