if movies about men got reviewed the same way movies about women did
“Look. Don’t get me wrong: no one is happier than me to see a man finally starring in a lead role in an action movie (especially when they look as tantalizing in a tank top as Mr. Willis.) but at the end of the day, the hard truth about Die Hard is this: it’s mediocre. The script is bland, the pacing is excruciating, and although it has a few decent lines, it’s trying way, way too hard to be funny and only succeeding half the time. The focus on “male empowerment” is way too overt and comes across as ham-fisted, like the movie is trying to beat the audience over the head with “SEE? MEN CAN LEAD ACTION MOVIES, TOO!” without seeming to have anything more nuanced to say about the matter. Ultimately, Bruce Willis climbing around a building and beating up terrorists for two hours isn’t quite interesting enough to hold this reviewer’s attention. If you can shut off your brain and pretend not to notice the glaringly obvious plot holes riddled through this corporate-engineered script, then Die Hard may be the film for you. If not, however, you’ll probably be better off rewatching Ocean’s 8 instead.”
Genius.
The filmmaker’s insistence on dressing Mr Willis in an oh-so-revealing tank top is blatant pandering and not remotely realistic. I’ve never seen Cagney or Lacey in a torn up top, flaunting their shoulders. If he’s supposed to be a police officer, he’s not a very professional one. And his just-out-of-bed, bare feet are even worse. The filmmakers couldn’t give him a nice pair of oxfords or at least some loafers?
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