tbh there’s lots of stuff I love about that Evil Queen AU I got going on but my favorite is the thought of these two bloodied rulers bickering like an old married couple but over like,, things that would be morbid or horrifying to any normal person
I feel this and want this but I also feel like my humor is too dark at times, so I tried to make a convo that wasn’t too gross (I hope it makes sense, I’m not totally sure what’s canon in the Evil Queen AU):
~~~
Near the fireplace a child reads lazily, popping their head up occasionally, as a tall, dark King gazes intently through a lengthy window. The child pauses and looks to the window, then at the man.
“Daddy, why did you make that village on the hill all black and spiky?” they asked innocently.
The Queen, sitting nearby writing important notes, paused before replying, “Because your father decided to make a point to an entire city and scare them ALL half to death, instead of simply seeking punishment for the one criminal at fault.”
The tall figure’s expression flickered before speaking lightly.
“Dearest, I had to set an example; if anyone steals from my home, there will be consequences.” He turned, making his way around the room.
“Honestly, you could’ve just fed him to your hound. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about any potential strains on trading with them. No one would’ve known, and you’d have your revenge,” replied the Queen with a wry smile. Booted footsteps came closer to her desk.
“If no one is made aware, the thieving will continue,” The footsteps stopped, and her pen was pulled from her as black, wavy locks came into the right of her view.
“Besides, a lowly thief is simply not enough to satisfy a hellhound like mine,” he spoke softly.
“I don’t believe Baskerville cares what he’s given to eat, Vlad,” She looked up at him, an eyebrow raised playfully.
“I care that the diet of that which protects my family and home is held to high standards. Only the best for him,” he purred, stroking S/O’s writing hand and wrist slowly, “just as it is for those I hold dear.”
I love this (could totally see Draciana doing this) but I’m just imagining the S/O bring sarcastic about how he impaled 20,000 men to scare the Ottomans or how he insists on impaling men in general xD
Possibly Draciana: You can’t just impale people whenever you want.
Ya boi Vlad: WATCH ME
I, I just got the image of Draciana confiscating his spears so he can’t impale people and I’M CRYING AT the thought of Valcard just sitting on his throne pouting and trying to convince her to give his spears back.
sdkjhsdjhd just slumped over with the biggest frown on his face oh my goddd
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TheOriginalGodsGirlRachel 