Why Alucard can’t live a normal life in a suburban neighborhood

bunnilla-bean:

Alucard: What have I done to deserve all of this b-hole coming out of your mouth? 

Farah: It’s everything, Al! It’s everything you’ve done ever!

Alucard: Everything? Even that time I helped Mrs. Bigsby with her garden?

Farah: You BURIED her there!

Alucard: It’s what she would have wanted. 

Farah: You buried her ALIVE!

Alucard: She wasn’t keeping up with the weeding. As president of the homeowners association, I had to take immediate action. 

@monsterloversanonymous @theoriginalgodsgirlrachel

“……Aaaaaal, That kills people!”

“Oh! …I did not know that.”

“Al…”

“I am in the wrong year… I suck.”

“…Al, why is the floor all red and sticky?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was strawberry milkshake?”

“No, I would not believe that.”

“Melted gumdrops?”

“Al…”

“Boat necter?”

Al.”

“Some of God’s Tears?”

“Tell me the truth, Al.”

“Fine… It’s the lovely elderly couple from 2B”

ALLLLL!”

“I have a problem! I have a serious problem.”

“You are just…terrible, today!”

“Do you hear that? It’s the sound of forgiveness.”

“That’s the sound of people drowning, Al.”

“That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming, and then silence.”

“You know what? I’m not even shocked anymore.”

“Awww, that’s no fun! >: (“

“This is the norm for you, Al.”

“I’ll have to try harder next time.”

Please don’t…”

“I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge~!”

AL!”

monsterloversanonymous:

definitelynotsnakepeople:

herushingu:

thehellsingorganization:

I know it might be weird, but part of me wonders if Alucard actually needs to covered almost head to toe with the exception of his neck and head?

Like, as fashionable as he may be, would the fact that he’s an old eldritch shapeshifting monster mean he can’t maintain(?) his human body anymore, and he has to wear modest, durable clothing to keep him in a human shape?

Like how water fills it’s container but doesn’t have a shape on its own?

Now I want Alucard walking down the runway..

Taking “the clothes make the man” a bit more literally XD

Alucard: *unbuttons shirt*

black goo with red eyes: *just bloops out all over the floor*

#Alucard being all “let me slip into something more comfortable~” and just collapses into some goth Lovecraftian Flubber

@bunnilla-bean