blacknuttler:

Alucard (Hellsing) being a weird but good dad headcanons.

This is just some things my mind wandered to while I was taking care of my dogs.

Special thanks to @kneatknacks for telling me about those spooky children’s movies.

  • Alucard gets many calls from the principle’s office or is sometimes called in to talk to the school’s director in person. This is mainly due to some odd advice he gave his young child about dealing with bullies…

“Sir…we cannot have your child biting people just because they said somthing rude to him.”

“Then do somthing about those kids not mine.”

  • He would stare down the principle relentlessly until they let his kid off easy with recess detention instead of suspension.
  • Alucard would have more than one child. He wants a a fairly large family, however, he is aware that his big family will have to wait until the environment he lives in is safer.
  • I don’t know how many children he would have…but he wouldn’t be in a rush if both him and his partner were immortal. His children may have pretty big age gaps, his oldest could be 50 years older than the youngest (or maybe even older); for immortal vampires that doesn’t really matter.
  • As his children get older he makes sure to stay in touch with them. Some may end up working along side him at hellsing (in a scenario where hellsing is still in existence when his kids are older)
  • Let’s get back to him being a dad to young kids though, no need to talk about the impending future when they all move away from home, making their spooky vampire dad sad.
  • “Alucard! Please don’t throw our child up so high!”

“I’ll catch them!”

“STILL”

  • Banned from pta meetings.
  • He isn’t allowed back because he would continuously get angry about the class snacks. His kids are allergic to garlic, yet the teachers never made sure that the snacks were free of their allergen before giving it to his children.
  • I can imagine him being at his child’s soccer game and criticizing the other players, causing his SO to make him sit in the car until the game is over.
  • His nocturnal family spends their late evenings piled on the couch. Five young children laying on their father like cats, making movement impossible and forcing him to watch ‘mom’s got a date with a vampire’ for the fourth time in a row. He is in hell.
  • If his child somehow catches him having a nightmare they will comfort him with hugs and madeup-on-the-spot bedtime stories just as he does for them when they have troubling dreams.
  • Sometimes the kids sneak into integra’s office and may or may not make a mess of EVERYTHING. Alucard is obviously scolded by her as if he were a child himself.
  • His children have learned a colorful volcabulary from him.
  • The trouble of having young children whose father is Dracula himself is that his kids will bluntly tell people that they are vampires because they do not know it’s frightening to some. Most of the time it is easily passed off as just ‘a weird thing kids say’ but sometimes the kids get way into detail and it gets weird.
  • The family of vampires only celebrates Halloween and oh boy do they all look adorable in their little capes. They always win costume contests for having the more belivable costume.
  • Alucard is proud of everything they do. Any drawings they give him are going on the wall.

I just want to mention.

Movies always playing on the tv.

‘Mom’s got a date with a vampire’ (2000)

‘The little vampire’ (2000)

‘The witches’ (1990)

Alucard has seen these all so many times and hates that he can quote the entire thing.

@exhaustedbeauty